A monster named "The fear of the unknown"

I first want to say I apologize for not posting as much as I would like. Life it self is such a distraction and it gets hard to take a break. Getting back to my most recent thoughts that monster we know as "The fear of the unknown". This weekend I had family come in town to visit. As much as I love my space I was happy to see them. My dad came from North Carolina and my sister came from New York. Everything seemed to be pretty normal just like all of the other times we have gotten together. It wasn't until my dad said he had an announcement to make that I felt like something was different. What could he say? He is a true spokesperson at heart he could be talking about current events, possibly something dealing with family related ideas, pretty much almost anything dealing with golf. So, I just wanted him to spit it out already. I even told him it better not be bad news and gave him a quiet giggle. He gave me a quick smirk and said "we will talk". It was then "the unknown" had shown up in my stomach and it turned my gears upside down. My thoughts went haywire, my heart began to beat rapidly as I wondered what was he going to say. My family that lived not to far from me began to show up to see my out of town visitors and to hear this news my dad had to tell us all.  We gathered in the living room and everyone was so happy to see each other. Then my dad begins to speak to get everyone's attention. He says " I am so happy to see you all and I am truly in love with my family." He begins to do his spokesperson's piece and "the unknown" in my stomach took ease, because this is a speech he gives all the time. It wasn't until he said the words surgery and radiation that I had even began listening. You can hear the swell-up in his voice as he tried not to say the C-word. Then he said it as quiet as can be cancer, and that monster we know as " The fear of the unknown" had punched me in my heart yet again. Flashbacks flew from every direction, my eyes began to water and my throat began to close on me. I quickly excused myself from the room and ran outside for air. I fell to my knees and the only thing I could do was begin praying as tears flooded down my face, I screamed at God "not again please". I eventually had to pull myself together before they sent a search party to come find me. I am not the best at expressing my pain and I don't take overwhelming sympathy that well. I washed my face and walked back in as calm as my monster would let me be. This time, this go round I am not sad I am mad. The C-word is what it is and even if they catch it in time that monster "The fear of the unknown" still has a hold on you. I love my father with all my heart without him and my mother there would be no me. He eventually reassured me that they think they had caught it in time and that with love and prayer we can get thru anything. Please pray for my dad and my family. Thank you!